shane the connect three person
by picklevictory
Summary: WAS FORMERLY KEVIN THE JONAS BROTHER, BUT THEN SOMEONE REPORTED ME...it has been edited, but is essentially the exact same thing. what if the boys from connect three had been the stars of the best youtube video ever?


**i'm writing this because i can definitely see it happening.**

**i own nothing. NOTHING! **

**has been edited because i've been reported...thank you, whoever reported me; you've officially pissed me off for the rest of the day.**

**and to Emma loves Kevin Jonas: thank you. you didn't care whether it be about the jonas brothers or connect three. you are a wonderful, tolerant person who doesn't care if someone bends the rules a little.**

**now, i've never seen camp rock (but i've heard a LOT of hype), but shane (joe's character) seems the least likely to put up wuth this craziness, so nate and jason (nick and kevin) will be the crazies.**

**also, nate's not diabetic; nick is. so if you want to comment on that, SHUT UP. i've already had to switch it over, i'm not in the mood for anymore of this crap.**

**SHANE THE...CONNECT THREE PERSON **

**(doesn't work as well as kevin the jonas brother, huh? HINT HINT!)**

**in a cabin at Camp Rock**

Shane Grey was sleeping in the soft, cushy bed in his cabin one morning. The camp festivities the night before had been so awesome that it left him more exhausted than usual. There wasn't much to do today at camp, so he just planned on sleeping all day…

"Heeeeeey! Shane!" a high-pitched voice cooed. "Hey, Shane, wake up!"

"Yeah, Shane!" another voice chimed in. "You silly sleepy-head, wake up!" Shane groaned, opened one eye, and saw his bandmates, Nate and Jason, peering down at him. They had that look in their eyes and that smile on their face that indicated that they had consumed copious amounts of sugar, and that always led to something bad.

"Oh, God, you guys," Shane groaned. "This had better be pretty freakin' important; is the lake on fire?"

"No, Shane, we found a map to Candy Mountain!" Jason said. "Candy Mountain, Shane!"

"Yeah, Shane!" Nate continued. "We're going to Candy Mountain." Shane blinked, wondering if this was some weird dream. "Come with us, Shane!"

"Yeah, Shane!" Jason attempted to persuade. "It'll be an adventure!...We're going on an adventure, Shane!" They both smiled eerily big, creepy smiles. Shane blinked again.

"Yeah, Candy Mountain, right," he said. "I'm just gonna, you know, go back to sleep now." And with that, he threw the covers back over his head and closed his eyes to dream about the voices he hears inside his head once more(and I am NOT talking about Mitchie)…

"NOOOOOOOOOOO, Shane!" Jason whinnied, jumping on to the bed and bouncing up and down, which Shane found quite uncomfortable. "You have to come with us to Candy Mountain!" Shane threw the covers off his head once again, looking quite perturbed.

"Yeah, Shane, Candy Mountain!" Nate said dreamily, getting a far-off look in his eye. "It's a land of sweets and joy…and joyness…"

"Please stop bouncing on me," Shane grumbled, closing his eyes once again, but Nate and Jason weren't giving up.

"Candy Mountain, Shane!" Jason insisted.

"Yeah, Candy Mountain!" Nate added. This went on for another few seconds before Shane sat up, frustrated.

"All right, fine, I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!" he bellowed.

**a few hours later, in a forest…**

Shane wondered exactly how deep the woods at Camp Rock went. Nate and Jason didn't care; they were humming in that really annoying "Lalalalala" way that they only did when on a sugar rush. They were acting even weirder than they normally did.

"Enough with the singing already!" Shane finally said. It was too early for singing.

"Our first stop is over there, Shane!" Jason pointed at a large rock, on which was lying…

"Oh, God, what is _that_?" Shane inquired, as he saw a large reptilian…thing.

"It's a liopluerodon, Shane!" Jason said matter-of-factly.

"A magical liopleurodon!" Nate piped in.

"It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain!" Jason said happily.

"All right, guys, you do know that there's no actual Candy Mountain, right?" Shane said blankly, almost positive this was a very strange dream. For heaven's sake, he was still in his pajamas, and these two were even more disturbing than those twin girls from "The Shining," when normally, they were JUST as disturbing as those twin girls from "The Shining."

"Shun the nonbeliever," Jason said to Nate.

"Shhhuuuunnnn," Nate taunted.

"Ssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnn..." Jason cooed. "…-nah." Shane stared at their demented smiles blankly.

"Yeah," he muttered. Suddenly, the liopleurodon made strange cawing, growling, guttural sounds.

"It has spoken!" Jason declared.

"It has told us the waaaaaaaaaaayyyy!" Nate said happily as he and Jason hopped off in a certain direction. Shane, slack-jawed, just stared at them.

"It didn't say anything!" he yelled.

**on a rickety rope bridge hanging over a calamitous chasm…**

"It's just over this bridge, Shane!" Jason assured his looks-conscious, possibly schizophrenic bandmate (hey, ANYONE who hears voices in side their head has something wrong with them!).

"This magical bridge of hope and wonder!" Nate waxed lyrical…in that stoner way. Shane hissed as another piece of wood dug into his foot.

"Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters?" he asked, looking at his horribly mangled feet. "Seriously, guys, we shouldn't be on this thing."

"Shaaaaaaaaaaaaane," Jason warbled. "Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane! Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane! Shaaaaaaaaaa—"

"I'M RIGHT HERE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Shane yelled, fed up with that poor attempt at a siren song that was eerily reminiscent of an old western film.

"We're on a bridge, Shane!" Jason said brightly! Shane would have facepalmed himself if he wasn't positive that letting go of the bridge would result in an untimely death.

**an indefinite amount of time later…**

"We're here!" Nate announced. Shane looked in the direction of his very dimwitted bandmates. He saw a large, sparkly pink mountain with an entrance to a cave and the words "CANDY MOUNTAIN" spelled out in shiny red lettering.

"Well, what do you know, there actually is a Candy Mountain," Shane muttered, mostly to himself.

"Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain!" Jason snag nonsensically hopping hither and thither around the mountain. "You fill me with sweet, sugary goodness!" Shane shook his head; Jason was more excited baout this than he was about birdhouses...and he was EXCITED about birdhouses...

"Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave, Shane!" Nate pleaded.

"Yeah, Shane, go inside the cave!" Jason urged his brother. "Magical wonders are to behold when you enter!"

"Yeah, uh, thanks, but no thanks," Shane insisted. "I'm gonna stay out here."

"But you have to enter the Candy Mountain Candy Cave, Shane!" Nate insisted. All of a sudden, demented polka music began to play as the letters that spelled "CANDY" hopped down to the ground. The "Y" started to sing, and Shane was fairly certain something in his mind had snapped and he was officially crazy now.

"Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave!" "Y" sang. "When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land, such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land! They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things, oh so many things that will brighten up your day! It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town! It's the Mecca of love, the Candy Cave!" Bright colored lights shone everywhere, and Nate and Jason floated around the Mountain with those stupid smiles on their faces as the song continued. Shane just watched...not in aew, more like in quiet terror and annoyance.

"They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats, candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets! Find a candy train to town and hear the candy band, candy bells, it's a treat as they march across the land! Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground turn around--it astounds!--it's a dancing candy tree! In the Candy Cave imagination runs so free, so now Shane, please, will you go into the cave?" "Y" jumped over to the other letters…and of course, they burst into flames.

"All right, fine!" Shane said, fed up. "I'll go inside the freakin' Candy Cave! This had better be good." He stepped into the darkness of the Candy Cave…Candy Caves shouldn't be damp, dark, and forboding, he concluded. He turned at the Joker-esque cackles coming from his two bandmates.

"Goodbye, Shane!" Jason said, waving.

"Yeah, goodbye, Shane!" Nate added as the cave closed.

"Goodbye, what?" Shane asked, puzzled. He was in pitch-black darkness. "Hey, what's going on here?...Hello?" He heard footsteps echoing. "Who is that?" No response, just more echo-y footsteps and a large swoosh…WHACK! Something hit his head, and he slipped into unconsciousness…

**back in cabin**

"Oww…" Shane moaned when he recovered consciousness. "Ugh…what happened?" He observed his surroundings. He was back in his cabin, lying on his bed on his stomach. He felt something in his side…oh, God, what did Nate and Jason do? He looked at his back…

"AGH, THEY TOOK MY FREAKIN' KIDNEY!"

…**HAPPY NOW, WHOEVER REPORTED ME?! they're not real anymore! if i get reported again, i'm GONNA be madder than i already am...**


End file.
